My Dad’s Photo Album Had a Page Glued Shut

Daniel Foster

My dad’s photo album had a page glued shut.

I pried it open with a butter knife while he was at dialysis.

Under it: a girl with MY FACE.

I’ve driven him to that clinic three days a week for two years, since Mom died and the house went quiet in a way it never recovered from.

He’s sixty-eight and he still calls me first for everything. The pharmacy, the taxes, the dead battery in his truck.

“Megan, put it back before he gets home,” my sister Kayla said from the hallway. She was nineteen when we lost Mom and she still panics at anything that might crack him.

That album lives on the shelf under the TV. We’ve flipped through it a hundred times at Christmas.

The girl was maybe seven. Same gap in her front teeth I had at seven, same cowlick sticking up on the left.

She was in front of a brick house I’d never seen, holding a dog we never owned.

A cousin, I told myself. Dad has cousins in Ohio.

But the handwriting on the back wasn’t Mom’s. “Dani, 2nd grade, Beaumont.”

Beaumont is in Texas. Dad ran freight routes through Texas for eleven years.

So I went through the whole album again, and five more photos were doubled up behind other photos in the sleeves.

Birthday cake. Softball uniform. The same girl getting taller.

Then I opened his credit union account, the one I manage now because he can’t see the screen well.

Four hundred dollars a month, going out to a name that wasn’t ours.

I stopped scrolling.

I found her on Facebook in about ninety seconds. Danielle, thirty-six, still in Beaumont.

Her profile picture is her on a porch with a man in the blue flannel Mom bought him the Christmas I turned nine.

My dad.

I sat down on the floor without deciding to. Those transfers went back thirty-five years, and her birthday is listed right there on her page.

DANIELLE IS FOUR MONTHS OLDER THAN ME.

I messaged her that night. She called me at 6 a.m.

“You need to sit down,” she said. “Your mother called me every year on my birthday. She stopped in 2019 because – “

What Danielle Said Next

She stopped in 2019 because Mom died. October 14th. I know the date; I was the one who called the hospice to confirm the paperwork.

Mom knew. She had known since before I was born.

That’s the part I keep sitting with. I’m thirty-six years old. My mother spent thirty-six years knowing there was a girl in Beaumont, Texas, with my gap teeth and my cowlick, and she called her every birthday anyway.

Danielle’s voice on the phone was careful. Like she’d rehearsed for this call and still didn’t have the words right. She said my mom reached out to her when Danielle was maybe nine or ten, after tracking down the address through a woman who used to work the weigh stations on I-10. She said my mom introduced herself by her full name, Cheryl Ann Pruitt, and told Danielle she wasn’t calling to cause trouble. Just to check.

“She told me I had a sister,” Danielle said. “She said you didn’t know.”

I was sitting on my kitchen floor with my back against the cabinet under the sink. It’s cold back there. I didn’t move for the whole call.

“She sent me a card every year too,” Danielle said. “Birthday and Christmas. Always a Hallmark card. Always signed just ‘Cheryl.'”

I thought about Mom’s handwriting. The way she made her C’s with a little hook at the bottom. I thought about how she bought those cards, probably at the Walgreens on Route 9, and addressed them to a child in Texas, and never said a word. Not to me, not to Kayla, not that I ever heard.

She carried that the whole time.

The Thing About the Flannel Shirt

I called Kayla after I got off with Danielle. It was 7:15 in the morning. She answered on the first ring, which means she’d been awake.

“I know,” she said.

I didn’t say anything.

“Megan. I know about her. I’ve known since I was twenty-two.”

She’d found a letter. Not in the album. In a shoebox in Mom’s closet, the one with the broken hinge that Mom kept on the top shelf and told us held old tax returns. Kayla was cleaning after the funeral, the way you do when you need your hands to be busy and you can’t cry anymore, and she found it.

The letter was from Dad. Dated 1988. He’d written it from a motel outside Beaumont, on motel stationery with the logo of a place called the Lone Star Motor Inn. He told Mom about Danielle. Told her the woman’s name was Carol Hatch. Told her Carol was keeping the baby and he was going to help financially, because he’d talked to Carol and that was what they’d agreed on.

He asked Mom to forgive him.

Kayla said she read it twice, folded it back up, and put it in the box under the tax returns where she’d found it. She said she’d thought about it every day since. She said she’d decided it wasn’t her story to tell.

“Whose story is it?” I asked her.

She didn’t have an answer for that.

The flannel shirt in Danielle’s profile photo is the one. I know it’s the one because of the tear on the left cuff that Mom ironed a patch over, a plaid patch that didn’t match, and she always said she was going to replace it but never did. In the photo you can just see the edge of it. Danielle has her arm through his.

He’d been to Beaumont. He’d been to that porch.

I don’t know when. I don’t know how many times.

What I Did With the Album

I put it back. Exactly where it was. The glued page doesn’t look perfect now, there’s a small tear along the bottom edge from the butter knife, but if you don’t know to look for it you won’t see it.

I don’t know why I did that. Self-preservation, maybe. His next dialysis appointment was in four hours and I still had to drive him.

He came out of the clinic looking the way he always does afterward, gray around the mouth, moving like his joints are packed with sand. He got in the truck and I handed him the crackers I always bring because his blood sugar drops, and he said “thanks, Meggie” the way he always does, and we drove home.

I watched his hands on his knee the whole way. He has big hands. I have his hands. Danielle has his hands too, I noticed in the photos. You can tell even in the softball picture, the way she’s gripping the bat.

We watched Wheel of Fortune. I heated up the soup Kayla had dropped off the day before. He fell asleep in the chair around eight and I turned the TV down and sat there in the dark for a while.

He looked old. Not in a bad way. Just old. Sixty-eight years of something.

The Thing Mom Knew

Here’s what I can’t get past.

Mom called Danielle every year. She sent the cards. She knew the girl’s face, probably knew her grades and her friends and what she wanted to be when she grew up, all from a five-minute phone call every October.

And she stayed. She stayed in that house with that man and raised me and Kayla and drove us to soccer practice and made pot roast every Sunday and never cracked. Not once. Not in a way I saw.

I keep asking myself if that’s strength or something else.

I don’t have an answer. I’m not sure I want one right now.

Danielle sent me a photo the day after we talked. Just to my phone, not to Kayla yet, she asked me first. It’s the two of us at roughly the same age, maybe eight or nine. Hers is in front of that brick house. Mine is in front of our old place on Garfield Street, the one we moved out of when I was twelve.

Same face. Same teeth. Same cowlick.

She’d had the photo of me for years. Mom had sent it.

What Danielle Wants

She doesn’t want money. She said that twice, unprompted, which tells me she’s had to say it to someone before. She doesn’t want to blow anything up. She has a life in Beaumont, a job at a school district, a boyfriend named Greg, a cat she’s had for eleven years named Buster who is apparently not doing great.

She wants to know him.

That’s it. She’s thirty-six years old and she has photos of him on her porch and she’s known his name her whole life and she wants to sit across a table from him and have him look at her.

She said she doesn’t even need him to apologize. She just wants him to know she exists in a way that isn’t a secret. In a way that doesn’t require glued pages.

“I’m not angry,” she told me. And then, quieter: “I was. For a long time I was.”

I believe her on both counts.

Before He Gets Home

I haven’t told him yet. That was eleven days ago and I still haven’t said a word.

But I’m going to. This week. Maybe Thursday, after dialysis, when he’s tired enough to not be defensive and awake enough to actually hear me.

I’ve thought about how to start it. I haven’t figured it out. There’s no good first sentence for this.

Kayla thinks I should let it alone. She said Mom made her peace with it and Dad’s sixty-eight and sick and what good does it do. I understand that argument. I can hold it in my hands and see its shape.

But Danielle is out there in Beaumont with a cat named Buster who isn’t doing great, and she has eleven years of birthday cards signed by a woman who is gone now, and she has his hands, and she’s been waiting a long time for a table to sit across.

Mom called her every year.

I think that was Mom saying: when I’m not here anymore, someone else needs to know.

I think it was a handoff. I just didn’t know I was catching anything.

The album is back on the shelf under the TV. The crackers are in the glove compartment. Thursday is in two days.

—

If this one got you, pass it along to someone who’d understand it.

For more stories about shocking discoveries and unexpected turns, check out what happened when My Best Friend Asked Me to Give a Toast. I Had a Folder That Could End His Marriage. or the mystery that unfolded when The Janitor Left Notes Outside My Classroom. Then a Woman in a Suit Asked for “Dr. Ruiz.”. You might also be interested in reading about a difficult situation in My Boss Fired Me Nine Minutes After I Told Him I Was Pregnant.